44 Reasons Women Are Actually Running Late for Their Tinder Date

4 min


121
121 points

t’s really hard to get to places at all, much less on time. I’m constantly patting myself on the back for even having enough energy to squeeze my bloated ass into some jeans in the name of lookin’ fuay for a random Tinder date—sorry I’m not actively checking the time.

And look, no matter how late I am, at least I’m putting myself out there (read: “out there” as in, outside my house) to look presentable to my OkCupid match and the rest of society—especially when that means I have to put on a bra.

“Yes, I’m so sorry I’m late to our first date at Chili’s. Getting out the door became a bit of a challenge when I had already scheduled some R&R with my couch and the leftover pizza in my fridge, mmk?”

But besides the couch, and pizza, and Netflix, here’s probably why I—along with millions of other women—aren’t capable of being on time:

  1. I’m blow-drying my hair but watching four episodes of Grey’s Anatomy *before* I do that.
  2. I’m checking Instagram for the third time in 45 seconds.
  3. The subway is delayed! And that’s totally because I left 15 minutes later than I should have in the first place.
  4. I only use UberPool (because why miss an opportunity for a meet-cute while I’m on my way to meet someone else??)
  5. I assume my date will be late.
  6. The line at Starbucks is so long! Especially since I keep letting people go in front of me to avoid meeting my situationship’s family and eat his Aunt Sally’s cooking.
  7. I’m too busy looking at this dude’s ex’s best friend’s fashion Instagram page. She has 20,000 followers!
  8. I need to go grocery shopping for the next six weeks. It’s called #MealPrep.
  9. There’s, like, too much “content” on the “internet.”
  10. I’m reading the news to stay in the know! Did you hear about Kim’s new haircut?
  1. I have to file my nails…and my taxes.
  2. Ugh, I woke up with a pimple. And a burning desire to avoid and delay all social engagements today.
  3. My ex might be at the restaurant! So I have to check his location real quick.
  4. I need to re-organize my bookshelf. I don’t own very many books, though, so I have to make a pit stop to the library first.
  5. I’m just going to eat real quick. Well, for the sake of my gastroenterological health, I have to take very, very, very small bites and wait three minutes between each one. Should take about three hours, but you don’t want me to have acid reflux, do you?
  6. I need to figure out what I’m doing with my hair…and my life.
  7. My Wi-Fi is slow! You can’t expect me to move faster than the Wi-Fi, can you?
  8. Did you know the ‘fi’ in ‘WiFi’ is short for ‘fidelity’? I got curious, so I looked it up. Aren’t you glad you know that now? In many ways, knowledge makes up for the fact that I’m running late.
  9. I had to Google some other stuff too.
  10. Did you know that Medjool dates aren’t dried, that’s just how they grow?
  11. It would be inaccurate to say I didn’t plan well enough. I actually deliberately made my schedule today with the intention of coming two hours late. Please don’t accuse me of being disorganized.
  12. Everyone knows the first three-quarters of a movie are always bad. So, here I am watching The Perfection.
  13. You know my ex-boyfriend? No, not the one I just broke up with—Harry, my ex from middle school? I have to check in and see who he’s been Venmo-ing, then spend 20 minutes looking up that person’s social security number.
  14. Sorry, but I’m just trying to prioritize me this week.
  15. I’m trying to prioritize me next week too, so sorry in advance if I’m late to your sister’s wedding. I’ll make sure to hold my peace.
  1. I have to pick out an outfit. Is it okay if I send you some outfit pics 45 minutes into your party? And then once you give me feedback, I can hop on the train and be there in 30.
  2. It’s that time of the month! The time when I check my bank balance and hold my head in my hands dramatically for 38 minutes while wondering if I’ll ever be able to buy a home in this economy.
  3. I have $45 in savings, I might as well check real estate listings to see if there’s anything within my budget.
  4. I’m always late; you should know this by now.
  5. I’m always late; it’s not my fault.
  6. I’m always late; it’s my aesthetic.
  7. I’m always late; it throws people off if I come on time.
  8. I have to meditate. I only do five minutes, but I have to tell 18 people I’m meditating first (or else literally what’s the point), and that can take a while.
  9. I know I said I’d be there at 8, but I actually signed up for a Spinning class at 7:45, and I have no idea how long it’ll go. I mean, on the website it says it’s an hour long, but you know how these things are.
  10. I need a fresh blowout—I just went Spinning, duh.
  11. I’m tired.
  12. I’m stressed.
  13. I’m busy.
  14. I’m me.
  15. You’d be late too if you didn’t want to go to the event you were throwing.
  16. I noticed a mole on my arm. Maybe it’s been there my whole life (my mom says yes), or maybe it’s skin cancer—I need to swing by the ER first.
  17. I don’t want to spend a lot of time at the park where people look happy.
  1. You decided to text me “hey” two hours before I was supposed to be there, so I just assumed you were cancelling and put my jammies back on.
  2. Did you intentionally tell me this party started two hours before it did?Dang it, now I’m right on time, and you know I hate that.

Like it? Share with your friends!

121
121 points

What's Your Reaction?

hate hate
0
hate
confused confused
0
confused
fail fail
0
fail
fun fun
0
fun
geeky geeky
0
geeky
love love
0
love
lol lol
0
lol
omg omg
0
omg
win win
0
win
Sande Kennedy

Sande Kennedy is the founder of SandeKennedy.com & Kenyans247.com He is a Kenyan-based Internetprenuer,blogger Political Activist,informer who has an interest in politics, governance, corporate-fraud and human-interest. Kindly drop me a note if you feel aggrieved on any matter that you would want to be highlighted. Twitter @itssandekennedy , Instagram @itssandekennedy WhatsApp: +254791890826 Read More about me here
Would you like to get published on this Popular Blog? You can now email Sande Kennedy any breaking news, Exposes, story ideas, human interest articles or interesting videos on: info@sandekennedy.com. Videos and pictures can be sent to +254 791890826 here on WhatsApp by clicking this send button
Powered by
Choose A Format
Story
Formatted Text with Embeds and Visuals
Poll
Voting to make decisions or determine opinions
Ranked List
Upvote or downvote to decide the best list item
Personality quiz
Series of questions that intends to reveal something about the personality
Trivia quiz
Series of questions with right and wrong answers that intends to check knowledge
List
The Classic Internet Listicles
Countdown
The Classic Internet Countdowns
Open List
Submit your own item and vote up for the best submission
Image
Photo or GIF
Meme
Upload your own images to make custom memes
Video
Youtube, Vimeo or Vine Embeds
Audio
Soundcloud or Mixcloud Embeds
Gif
GIF format

Send this to a friend